Conspiracy Mind Screw

Damn it to hell. I wish I had never ventured into the world of the conspiracy theorist. In that world, you are always on red alert. Nothing is what is seems. Nobody can be trusted and everything is a complex hoax designed to gain control...as if anyone really has time to gain control. Well, I did venture in, and now I'm paying the price for my curiosity. Now I think everything is a conspiracy. Nothing is what it seems and nobody, and I mean nobody can be trusted. In this culture, the world is being controlled by some secret sect bent on world domination, and whether it's the Illuminati, The Zionist International Banking Conspiracy or Alien Satanic Liberal Transgender Militants it all leads to the same thing....The New World Order.

My problem is that I feel everyone is part of it except me. I've been left out. Nobody wants me. It's the party I wasnt invited to and I want in. Not that I have the energy or desire to participate in world domination because I don't. I just thought it would be nice to get an invitation. Oh well, I guess somebody has to be on the outside looking in. Although, I can't help but feel there would be some really cool perks to being a member, like wild sex orgies, parking ticket immunity and a free extra esspresso shot in my morning cappacino, (did I spell coppacino correctly?)

I want secret handshakes, and passwords. I want underground meetings and mysterious symbols. I want to be part of the Winter Equinox Horny Goat Ball. I'm sure it would a great time and I would look fantastic dancing around a fire wearing furry goat pants. I guess, I just want all the fun things associated with being a member. Leave the responsibility to someone else.