Attention: Proof of Alien Life

So, this morning, I awoke to more of the same. Our government is on a collision course with disaster, the world is insane, and the doomsday clock is heading for the final tick. All so simple. Chaos wrapped up in easy to digest solient green wafers that we gulp down like a bunch of hungry carnivorous bulimics.

World events...The new drug of the mindless drone. A never ending stream of informational opiates we cannot mainline fast enough. We need it...gotta have it... and so our pushers are working overtime to feed the collective monkey. We beg and they deliver, and it will never stop.

So Chavez calls Bush the Devil, while the leader of Iran demands the destruction of Israel. People are dying in Iraq, and water boarding is becoming the rage. Some southern crackpot claimed to have killed that poor little Ramsey girl, while Mr. Roberts was busy building sexual torture mechanisms in his basement to use on Amish children. Meanwhile, Korea is threatening to detonate a nuke, and a guy named Foley is asking if a page is horny. Am I leaving anything out? Oh yeah, Bin Laden is dead or dying or living or something, and detainees are gaining weight like champs. Illegal Immigrants are in fact illegal and global warming is in fact warming.

What we need folks, is an alien discovery of some sort. We need to find an alien, and find one fast. If anything could grind this whole mess to a screeching halt it's a little green extraterrestrial with benevolent eyes and an, "I come in peace" attitude. Give the world some common spectacle to focus on and there you have it...World Mesmerization. That is until, the Christian Right denounces the alien as a spawn of Satan.